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Recovery with Theo
By Karl H (Oct 2015)
It was towards the end 2010 that I walked into Theo’s office. I didn’t quite know what to expect. At that point I was just desperate for help and hoped Theo would be it.
I cannot remember much of that first session, however three things stayed with me. One, this “thing” had a name and as I already suspected, I am a sex addict. Two that this would take much longer than the 6 sessions I had in mind and just one of many denials that needed to be dispelled. Thirdly, that recovery is a process of relearning.
The path of recovery is never easy, but for me the first twelve months was a particularly tough time in my life and Theo always put my personal well being first. Like an onion, we peeled layer after layer of my denials and miss placed beliefs to get to a place where I could grow from and be healed. In his compassionate and caring way Theo would challenge, guide and mentor me for the next four years. I have learned many new tools to help me express and cope with my emotions and no longer do I need to rely on my addiction as a coping mechanism.
As I progressed on this path of recovery, it affected all aspects of my life. Much of the later part was spent learning the life skills to stay in recovery. I am especially thankful for the positive impact it had in personal relationships and the relationship with my Higher Power.
Life and in it recovery, is an ongoing journey. For some the label sex addict is curse, for others an excuse, for me it is part of who I am. It points to an emotional blind spot and today I can truly appreciate the “gift” of addiction. Recovery presented me with so many wonderful things I would not have been exposed to otherwise. Today I can face life on life’s terms one day at a time
Deanne de Witt:
Thank you so much for the brilliant workshop that you held at the Northfield Methodist church. I found it incredibly interesting and was most enlightened J. It will definitely help me with any of these issues when counselling in the future.
You did mention that we should email you and you would send us notes which I would much appreciate.
Once again thank you for your time and wisdom.
Deanne de Witt (Sept 2015)
I would like to extend a huge thank you for the amazing morning we shared with you last week. I speak not only for my team but also for myself. The manner in which you deconstructed the mystery surrounding sexual addiction was very helpful. For many this is a very difficult addiction to get their heads around. Not only did you present in a way that really opened up understanding and compassion, but you were also deeply pastoral in your approach which was very helpful to my team. The humour that you brought with you was just enough so as not seem as though the topic is something to take lightly, but rather it helped everyone to relax and learn. So once again a very big thank you,
Thank you for taking on this work,
May God bless you in all that you do
Moira (Sept 2015)
Moira Keymer, Northfield Methodist Church, H.O.D. Pastoral Care Centre, email@example.com, Work 010 140 0217, Cell 083 445 2602
My path to recovery with Theo,
I started my therapy in January 2015 when I was caught and given the choice of treatment or the end of my marriage. Being desperate to save my marriage, I agreed to go to Theo and start with therapy. In the beginning I was unsure as to what to expect as my life was in total chaos. I did not know what the future held for me. I had realised earlier that I was a sex addict as I could not control myself, no matter how many promises I made to myself and to others, I always ended up exactly where I did not want to be. I was desperate and in a difficult place.
In therapy I learnt about the addiction cycle and how the brain functions and how my impaired thinking allowed my addiction to rule my life. I have since learnt to value myself as a worthy human being, capable of love and intimacy in a committed relationship with my wife. My life has regained balance and I have a healthy outlook on life. Therapy with Theo not only saved my marriage, but has given me a new life.
Recovery is not the end, but the beginning of a life to be valued and enjoyed.
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